


Alabama, Arkansas

by magicites



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Other, minor spoilers past the anime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 21:38:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicites/pseuds/magicites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa Ackerman has been a stranger to peace for many years; to silence, longer. Safety, however, is too precious a commodity for the night air to provide her with. The last five years of her life have reduced the concept of safety to nothing more of a fairy tale; something that she’s rarely lucky enough to catch, even in her dreams.</p><p>Despite this, she is content, as long as Armin and Eren are at her side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alabama, Arkansas

**Author's Note:**

> Different fandom, same story. I still use song lyrics for titles, because I am not creative enough to make them on my own. Sighs.
> 
> I don't know what happened. I'm so fucking sorry - snk somehow managed to blindside me and I fell in love instantly. This doesn't usually happen to me.
> 
> Hides face in shame. Just. Just take this. It can be seen as friendship or as romance, whichever one you want. Fits in with canon right around chapter 37 of the manga, but it doesn't really reveal anything too spoilery.

_Home_  
 _Let me come home_  
 _Home is wherever I’m with you  
_ -Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, _Home_

 

Mikasa Ackerman has been a stranger to peace for many years; to silence, longer. Safety, however, is too precious a commodity for the night air to provide her with. The last five years of her life have reduced the concept of safety to nothing more of a fairy tale; something that she’s rarely lucky enough to catch, even in her dreams.

Despite this, she is content. Not happy – she was happy as a child, when her biggest concerns surrounded keeping Eren from coming home with yet another black eye and keeping Armin from falling into the water.

( _In her mind’s eye, she sees a world long dead unfold before her. She sees a blond head struggling to stay above water, hears Eren’s laughter sound from beside her, feels the cold water seep into her dress as she dives in the moment he goes under._

_“Thanks, Mikasa,” he says, after she’s dragged him back onto shore. Eren’s too busy rolling his eyes to help either of them remove their water-soaked shoes. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”_

_“You’re welcome,” she replies. She doesn’t like the phrase. It feels too much like she’s stating that he owes her something in return, like keeping him safe isn’t her duty, but her choice._

_He learned how to swim, eventually, but he’s married to the doggy paddle, and she doubts he would make it very long by himself._ )

The only light they have comes from the stars above, far off in the distance. They twinkle joyfully above them, and she wonders how they can send them off to danger with such a cheerful farewell. The air pricks sharply against every centimeter of her exposed skin and against the inside of her lungs, but Eren is a fire beside her, and she unconsciously huddles closer to him. In the faint light, she can see Armin attempting to do the same.

One word. One word, and he’d wrap the both of them under his cloak, hold them close and curse any foe, Titan or not, that dared to come too close.

The cart they ride in rocks beneath them. If Mikasa strains her ears, she can hear Armin muttering under his breath, the words too muddled to pick apart into coherent sentences. Eren breathes loudly, in and out of his nose in sharp pants. Compared to them, she is utterly silent; a specter watching over them.

( _This is how it’s always been, though. Mikasa has never been one for words, unable to craft beauty out of letters and sounds like Armin, but incapable of letting her emotions explode out of her heart and through her mouth like Eren._

_She’s not as much of a leader as either of them. She’s a bodyguard at best; a follower at worst. Fate itself crafted her for that role, and she accepts it without hesitation._

_“Keep him safe,” “watch over him,” and “keep him out of trouble,” were the anthems of her youth. Those words have accompanied her through every training session, every mission, every moment she’s lived through._

_Where would Eren be without her?_

_Dead, probably._

_For that matter, she would be dead without him, just like they’d both be dead without Armin. They need each other._

_The command has been modified slightly to fit one more boy, one slightly more levelheaded than her, but she is still a loyal soldier, and her mission has yet to be completed._ )

She hears a yawn that twists and trails off into a high whine. It’s followed promptly by a long sigh. “Wow, it’s late,” Hanji says, and eir voice is a chipper hammer shattering her thoughts. Mikasa fails to gather them while ey speak; it’s just another form of em commanding everyone’s attention. “I hope Levi’s holding up!”

“He’ll be fine,” Eren says. “The guy probably doesn’t know what being tired even feels like.”

It’s too dark to see it, but Mikasa can hear the grin in Hanji’s voice when ey replies. “You’d be surprised!”

Eren grunts, and Hanji laughs, high and happy. Ey're a person that’s never allowed tragedy to weigh eir soul down, and Mikasa feels a little envious. She’s always in complete control of herself, but the weight of the world on her shoulders never quite leaves.

( _Sometimes, she wonders what it would feel like to be truly free._

_Sometimes, she wonders if that same thought was what drove Armin to constantly dream of the world outside their little walls, and if that was what propelled Eren to forsake safety for adventure as a child._

_Sometimes, she wonders if she would be better off if she shared that same lust for knowledge, for freedom._ )

“I’ll go see how he’s holding up.” Hanji says, and eir silhouette rises into a crouch. “You three get some sleep, ok? You’ll need it!”

Armin hums his approval. Hanji grins, and flashes a thumbs-up before hopping off the edge of the cart and disappearing into the darkness. Mikasa waits one moment, then two, and soon hears eir excited greeting. Levi’s voice is quieter and deeper than Hanji’s, but his response sounds about as pleased as that man could ever possibly be.

( _She was like that too, once._

_Her life can be best divided up into two phases: before Eren, and after Eren._

_Before Eren, her world was a saccharine array of colors and light. Death, misfortune, the things that summon nightmares in humanity when it is late and there is nothing else to hide behind, were all things that she ignored with the skill of a master. Naiveté was almost her downfall, then._

_Directly after Eren, in the days following her adoption when she left her – his – scarf on top of her dresser more often than not, she almost forgot how to feel. The smiles she gave when Doctor Jaeger asked her how she was were forced, pathetic imitations of real emotion. It wasn’t their fault at all; her world was shattered, and the pieces she had painstakingly glued together were sparse and frail._

_“Mikasa, can you and Eren go out to the store? We need bread,” Eren’s mother had said one day. She had nodded, and without another word, hopped out of her chair, leaving the house without a word. She remembers grabbing Eren’s wrist, her grip firm but her hand clammy around his arm, grateful for the layers separating them._

_“Hey!? What the heck!?” He had said, but she had ignored him, and dragged him away._

_“Store.”_

_“Oh.” He had stopped struggling, and the abruptness of the move almost shocked her. He had stepped in front of her, regarding her with a curious look. “The store’s far. You’re going to be cold if you don’t put something on over that.”_

_“I’ll be fine.”_

_He had narrowed his eyes. They’ve always been huge, she reminisces, but they were even larger back then. “Liar. You get cold easily.” He shook himself free of her grasp, and darted into the house._

_She had waited for him, trusting him just enough not to escape. He had returned soon, carrying her – his – scarf, and a worn brown jacket of his. He had shoved them into her arms, and she had stared down at them blankly._

_“Put them on.” He had paused, only briefly, “so you don’t get cold.”_

_That was the first time she had truly smiled in too long a while._ )

The cart is no lonelier without Hanji, just quieter. Mikasa could never be lonely with these boys around.

“Hanji's right, you know. We’ll need to be rested in case something happens when we reach Wall Rose,” Armin says.

“Yeah, but sleeping like this?” Eren says, and shifts to prove his point. He bumps into Mikasa’s shoulder, but she stays quiet. “I feel so exposed.”

The wood against their backs is sturdy, but nothing that would actually protect them. “Eren’s right,” she adds, though her contribution isn’t much.

“Well, we’re the only ones left in the cart, right?” Armin asks. “I, um, can’t see too well.”

Mikasa knows that her sight isn’t much better, but Armin won’t have the courage to say whatever solution he’s already come up with if no one confirms his thoughts. “You’re right. We have the cart to ourselves.”

“Then how about we move to the center?” He suggests. “If we press our backs against each other, we won’t have to be so vulnerable. Plus, if anything does happen, I think it’d be easier for us to get up.”

Eren stretches, moving his arms up and away from them, allowing cold air to rush into the void he just created. “Sounds good to me.” His arms lower, and the warmth returns, soothing her. “Mikasa?”

“I’m fine with it.”

( _“I’m fine with that,” she had said before, when Eren had tried his best to convince her to finally meet Armin. He talked about him constantly, sharing anecdotes and stories that she occasionally wished to be a part of._

_His grin was blinding, brilliant. “Perfect! You’ll love him. He’s a bit of a wimp, but I don’t think there’s anyone in the entire world who’s as smart as him.” Eren grew quiet, and leaned closer to her, adding in a whisper, “he may even be smarter than Dad.”_

_Mikasa had gasped, just to humor him. He nodded, completely serious, and led her out of their house._

_They had found Armin crouched in an alley, clutching a small book to his chest. He looked up, eyes widening with panic as he looked at her._

_“Calm down! She’s my friend,” Eren had said, nudging the small boy with his foot. He scooted away, shrinking within himself._

_“B-but she’s strong, right? I heard what she did to those other kids last week.” Armin had said, voice wavering with fear._

_“She beat them up because they’re jerks,” Eren had explained. He had deliberately left out how she only beat them up to exact revenge on his behalf. She still smiles at the thought. “You’re not a jerk, so she won’t hurt you.”_

_“A-are you sure?”_

_Finally, Mikasa had crouched down, until she was eye level with him. His eyes were bluer than the skies above, and swimming with tears._

_She had extended her hand. “I’m Mikasa. Nice to meet you._

_He had taken her hand, and though it shook violently in her grip, no matter how lightly she touched him, it was a start._ )

She’s the first to move, scooting to the center of the cart and turning her back to them. Armin is the next to follow, pressing against her left side; Eren joins them moments later, pressed against her left. His cloak is in his hands, and he tries in vain to throw it around the three of them.

“Damn,” he says, and she can tell that he’s frowning; it’s what that sour note in his voice is always accompanied by. “I thought we could use it as a blanket, but it’s not big enough for all of us…”

Mikasa reacts automatically, reaching up to her neck to unbutton her own cloak. The shifting of cloth she hears only tells her that Armin is doing the same, and before long, they have a makeshift blanket covering them all. It’s sparse, and she’s still a little cold, but their shared body heat warms her more than any flimsy piece of cloth ever could.

She leans against them, comforted by the weight pushing against her and keeping her up. She closes her eyes, extinguishing the low lights of the stars above.

Before she falls asleep, she feels Eren’s hand work hers open. His palm is warm against hers. Armin follows a little later, and she’s certain that Eren doing the same thing to him was what triggered the motion.

( _They had done this before, when they were young. She remembers those nights fondly, when the summer air was the only blanket they ever needed, hand in hand, staring up at the stars as Armin used his free arm to trace out constellations in the sky._ )

In the morning, Mikasa wakes up, feeling more refreshed than she has been in weeks.

She still feels hands clasped in her own, and she cranes her neck to see Armin and Eren leaning against each other, shoulder to shoulder, still fast asleep.

She knows, then, that there’s no other place she’d rather be in the entire world than right here, with them.


End file.
